When I was 11, I met a very exotic Tibetan apprentice monk living on the highest plateaus in the world. His name was Tuesday and he was the hero of the book The third eye by T. Lobsang Rampa. An only child raised by two hard-working parents, I had to learn to take care of myself, they regularly told me, so books and their imaginary or historical characters became my best companions. With Mardi, I discovered a new and extraordinary world speaking of the power of the spirit, of the practice of meditation, of teachings and of secret and initiatory transmissions. What fascinated me was the idea that our mind was king, and that all of our reality was created by it. A revelation. Closing the book, I wrote a wish in my diary: one day, I will go to Tibet and I too will meet a master of wisdom in a red robe who would teach me to become my “own master”.
Wishes can be very surprising with a little patience…
19 years old: I flirt around
In high school, I met new friends, like Schopenhauer, Sartre, Nietzsche, "The world is my representation", "Existence precedes essence, we must invent ourselves" "Become what you are" … I rediscovered this same idea of the power of the mind, of the creation of one's own future, of the possible, of responsibility and of individual freedom. These ideas were very precious to me when, at 19, I had to face a first difficult test: illness. SPA, ankylosing spondylitis, progressive chronic disease told me the doctors. Diagnosis that considerably darkened my horizon. So, as usual, I turned to what instinctively made me feel good, my famous reading companions. To save my skin, I was looking for new ones, oriented towards psychology, self help, wisdom... and, one thing leading to another, I came across Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, one of the great Tibetan masters who implanted meditation and the Buddhist teachings in the West in the 70s.
“With chemotherapy, meditation and visualization practices, love from my loved ones, the crab finally calmed down. Since then, the Three Jewels have become beacons illuminating the dark night of chaos, and my balancing companions. »
New revelation: the idea of karma! Conceptual revolution of pure logic: you sow wheat, you harvest wheat, and not cherry tomatoes or carrots! What new breath, no more unanswered questions, no more feeling of injustice, like why me? What the hell did I do, it's not fair… No! From a purely theoretical point of view, I reaped what I had sown in a previous life. Perhaps difficult to accept, removing any possibility of victimization, but, by doing so, it became possible to “work” with it and to learn right now how to sow future seeds of well-being for a happier tomorrow. As a seed, cultivation and harvesting business, my life became less confusing and more manageable. With this logic of causes and consequences, I had for the first time a clear "map of the road" and a logical, simple, understandable and unstoppable driving tool. A whole report and a vision of the world opening up other fields of possibilities and new horizons. I learned to live with the disease, got married, gave birth to my two children and got better and better.
29 years old: I take refuge
At 29, at the age when Prince Siddhartha Gautama first discovered suffering, kicking off his quest for truth, for me a second big date with her happened on its own. , without frank or joyful invitation. A nasty little crab lodged in my chest was trying to kill me.
New shock. No more laughing, there was urgency. It was time to meet the Buddha and his reassuring and serene smile. It was time to take the path of balance he had developed, called “The Middle Way”, to get out of my fear of dying and leave my motherless grandchildren behind me. Question of survival!
New find on the way: The Tibetan Book of Life and Death by Sogyal Rinpoche. After reading, I immediately bought a meditation cushion and looked for a center to train. I tested different schools, from zazen to Tibetan Buddhism, then experimented with various traditions, nygma, gelugpa, to finally land deep in the green valleys of the Dordogne, in the Kagyupa tradition. I still remember this powerful emotion when I saw for the first time the prayer wheels whirling and the yellow, blue, red, green flags, printed with sacred formulas, dancing under the influence of the wind. In this little lost valley, I found myself.
I put down old suitcases with a comforting feeling that I had finally found my home. Home! I took refuge in the Three Jewels, learned to meditate, practice, study and meet myself, myself and my ego, its veils, its functioning… And this, in a complementary way to my therapeutic work. With chemotherapy, meditation and visualization practices, love from my loved ones, the crab finally calmed down. Since then, the Three Jewels have become beacons illuminating the dark night of chaos, and my balancing companions.
50 years and over: I walk with her smile
When all is well, we may tend to want to slightly forget the law of impermanence. For my part, having remarried a man I was very much in love with, I had completely put her aside. But she quickly came back at full gallop shortly after with a brutal separation. As a good Buddhist, my response to this new chaos was to turn more to the Three Jewels and increase the dose of practice. What else?
Then, I had the immense happiness of meeting the Venerable 5th Dilyag Sabchu Rinpoche, a great Tibetan master raised on the roof of the world. If you want to progress in a subject or a sport, like tennis for example, you take lessons with an experienced specialist. Same for wisdom. A master who spends his life training to become better knows how to accompany us to become better too.
Forty years after writing my wish in my diary, I found myself last summer on the roof of the world in Tibet. On a mountain pass more than 5 meters above sea level, I realized my childhood dream, happy to have finally found my "spiritual friend" in a red dress whom I hoped to meet one day... when I was big ! Aspirations sometimes take a while, even a certain time, to come true, but if you hold on to the helm, they have every chance of coming to fruition.
“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create. » Buddha