First step: put an end to fear!
In the face of fear, we must first recognize that there are different kinds. Some are based on valid reasons: fear of violence, for example. Others are the fruit of our mental projections and are only creations of our mind. To deal with it, believe that if there is a solution or a way out, you will find it. It is therefore useless to let yourself be overwhelmed by it. Instead, spend your energy looking for a solution. And if there's no solution, there's no need to worry about anything, since you won't be able to do or change anything. Proceeding in this way implies agreeing to confront the problem directly, having the courage and the will to do so. Otherwise, you will not be able to know whether or not there is a solution.
Another way to overcome your fears, when you are anxious for example, is to help others. By showing you kind, compassionate, respectful, you will then naturally and spontaneously be less worried since your mind will be diverted and occupied with other tasks. And, even if you fail in what you undertake to help others, you will feel better, your anxiety will decrease, because you will have devoted all your energy to caring for others. The more we are motivated by altruism, the less fear we are in the face of the most anxiety-provoking circumstances. Try it and you'll love it! Making others happy or rejoicing in their happiness brings peace of mind. Nothing is more satisfying.
Second step, another challenge: learning to be satisfied with what you have
Training to be satisfied with what we have, what we are, what we have, is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Gradually, our spirit and mind are calmed. We stop comparing ourselves to others, trying to always get more, to be the best, the most beautiful, the smartest… We simply appreciate what is given to us and this is a source of great joy.
Third step: add these ten ingredients to make our potion of happiness
The ten virtuous actions form the basis of the Buddhist ethics which participate in building our happiness. Discipline, wisdom and concentration allow one to practice it and refrain from non-virtuous actions: killing, stealing, having incorrect sexual conduct, lying, creating discord, speaking hurtful and futile words, being envious, malicious, consume intoxicating products (drugs, alcohol) and develop erroneous views. The fruit of this type of practice is to engender peace and serenity in our mind. And makes life easier with others.
Exercising the mind is a discipline that includes the actions of body, speech and mind. Discipline helps transform the way we relate to life and to others. We learn to differentiate the factors that lead to happiness from those that cause suffering and to cultivate only those that ensure happiness.
– Not killing means protecting life in general.
– Sexual misconduct involves not committing adultery.
– Not lying is an action that we can do easily, because we are often inclined, by facility, not to tell the truth. That said, sometimes some people just can't stand the raw truth. In some cases, it is therefore necessary to show discernment before expressing oneself.
– Not saying harsh words, not slandering and not creating discord allows you not to generate unnecessary suffering in others, not to provoke conflicts and not to harm others.
– Avoiding all vain and frivolous chatter helps not to say nothing, which is confusing. Abandoning all futile chatter is therefore a great virtue.
The ten non-virtuous acts, related to our disturbing emotions, originate in the mind. Observing their mechanisms and their causes and effects, by constantly exercising our attention and vigilance, allows us to abandon them. We recognize and analyze them without trying to grasp them. And the emotion associated with them disappears on its own.