We will not return here to what the news has relentlessly relayed in recent weeks: the pain of losing loved ones and not being able to say goodbye to them; the resurgence of domestic violence; loss of a job; the ordeal of suffering from Covid-19 and the fear of dying from it, etc. Faced with these realities, everything else could seem ridiculous and in particular that some of us almost regret the confinement, experienced at home, in a secure space. Anyway, whenever possible, learn to be satisfied with less; be able to rethink your priorities at your own pace; discover the simple joy of real exchanges with one's children, spouse, friends; showing more solidarity with neighbors or strangers, or thanking the nursing staff were also moments of personal construction, of inner transformation.
This time has changed us all
To get back to work and a more normal pace of life, if you are well, start by thanking yourself for having done as well as you could to get through this very complex period and simply feel gratitude towards you. -even.
Then try to realize that this is a special time to think about and visualize how you want to carry out the weeks and months ahead. You may answer me that it will not help much, because good resolutions never stick. And you are right. We've all been there. For this to work, you must commit to yourself, and only to yourself, to do everything to no longer suffer from your emotions, your thoughts, your guilt, your fatigue, your tensions and in any case, look at them with kindness. This will allow you to welcome them without trying to twist them or transform them to try to make them conform to the image you have of yourself.
Another important point concerns your loved ones. Let them make their own choices. You don't know how they really got out of the ordeal of confinement, so don't force them to go at the same pace as you, to adopt your choices, to do yoga, meditate, play sports... It would be a fusional approach invasive that would not leave the people you want to embark on your desires the possibility of discovering themselves. Leave them alone and let them breathe without you, as soon as you can! They will thank you for it and you will be amazed at the result.
Think of yourself, take care of yourself, it's the perfect time to teach your mind to stop wandering inside in all directions and to: do / act / move forward / build.
“Our mind creates the world we live in. He is the source of our happiness and our unhappiness. We must learn to observe it and discipline it and choose, in conscience, to control and channel our thoughts. The key to all transformation is to be mindful of the movements of our mind. The world we create and experience depends on it. Being happy and at peace depends less on external circumstances than on what is going on in our mind. »Tenzin Gyatso
Close your eyes.
Breathe deeply for a few minutes.
Then observe the thought of the moment, moment by moment.
The thought is the emanation of your ego, of your habits, of all that constitutes your personality and your personal history. Observe how it works, how it induces your emotions and how these push you to react internally.
Be aware of what is happening.
See how a single thought gives birth to a preposterous, artificial, illusory mental story that you cling to and believe in, forgetting even the original thought that gave birth to it.
Go back to that thought. Untangle the thread by retracing your steps. Understand what happened; how it all happened automatically, without you having any control over it. This process will help you change your relationship to your thoughts and emotions, and lessen their impact, making you more calm and relaxed.
Breathe deeply again for several minutes.
Observe the thought that is now passing through your mind and watch what happens as your mind takes hold of it and how it again transforms it into emotion and reaction, causing you to act like a robot.
Observe this repetition of your functioning without identifying yourself with what is happening, without judging, in order to remain neutral and lucid.
And examine how your mind is doing all it can to escape from this exercise.
Don't stress, don't feel guilty, it's normal.
Go back to your experience of the moment, to the present thought, stopping there, this time contrary to what you do in other exercises. You must neither follow it nor reject it, but observe it as if it were a person who comes to visit you.
Smile at her, welcome her, she is not your enemy.
You don't know it yet, but you will discover that the mind is your best friend. He gives all the keys to becoming independent, freeing yourself from him and living in peace.
By doing so, you learn to accept it and no longer suffer it, since you do not reject it and you do not maintain it.
Continue the exercise for five to ten minutes, doing your best to remain attentive to what is happening within you, as before, and without trying to obtain or achieve anything.
Little by little, day after day, this exercise will allow you to take a step back and discover yourself less a victim of circumstances by noting that you no longer believe as before that you are your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, your concepts, your certainties. , your prejudices, nor any of the mental constructions developed since childhood and which have served you until then as crutches.
So who are you without the tinsel of thoughts and emotions induced by circumstances or past upbringing?
Who are you if you no longer identify with these mechanisms? Who are you without your stress, the tensions that live in you all year round? These questions, ask yourself again and again. The answers you give them will give you leads that suit you.
Use common sense. Listen to your intuition. No one knows who you are and what you need better than you.
“Our mind creates the world we live in. He is the source of our happiness and our unhappiness. We must learn to observe it and discipline it and choose, in conscience, to control and channel our thoughts. »Tenzin Gyatso
Let's end this exercise with this sentence from the monk Matthieu Ricard: “The automatisms of thought, maintained by our tendencies and habits, are so many obstacles to the liberation of the mind. Mastering the mind does not mean imposing new constraints on it that make it even more narrow and tense; it is, on the contrary, to free him from the influence of mental conditioning and inner conflicts maintained by thoughts and emotions”.
After these two months of confinement, it is true that the difficulty will undoubtedly be partly to find meaning, where we find, in confidence. This cannot be done either by projecting our fears or by forcing things. Hence this exercise to be done as often as possible.
Your experience will guide and enlighten you. Not that of others. So, observe what is happening within you and act.
In this new context, Buddhist News resumes the usual rhythm of newsletters, once every fortnight.
Do not hesitate to write to us with your suggestions or if it is more personal to ask your questions to the three representatives: Venerable Dagpo Rinpoche and Nyanadharo, and Doctor Dinh Hy Trinh.
Good luck for the weeks to come.