" I want to change. How to change? This is a question we often hear, and which fills books and magazines, not to mention the cabinets of psychologists. To change is to get out of the functioning of the ego, which knows only two things: bulimia (“I want this, I want everything”) or anorexia (“I don't want it”). All day, all life, we oscillate between these two extremes. All our will, all the doctors can do nothing to get us out of our bulimia and our anorexia. What gets us out of it? It is realize.
Change is going against the current of our achievements, of everything that forms our personality.
It is meditation that allows this awareness, and then it changes on its own. It is no longer the voluntary side: it is like an evidence, a new birth. It's not an intellectual understanding, but really becoming aware, feeling it deep inside us. And, then, ask yourself the question: am I dumb enough to continue like this, or smart enough to stop and change? Intelligence is a double-edged sword: you have to be intelligent to understand that this can no longer continue, but intelligence can sometimes be stupid and find excuses for us, even justify all our childishness.
Break the shell of the ego
Will you wait for an accident, or death, before changing? Or are you smart enough to change while you're still alive? This new birth, this change of direction, can be done before the accident, if we have this awareness, this intelligence. It's not gradual, no, it has to be abrupt. When we arrive in a cul-de-sac, facing the wall, what do we do? Do we stay blocked, do we wait without moving in front of this wall, or do we break it to find out what is behind it?
You have to look back on yourself: “Why am I like this? ". Become aware, but without it affecting the ego, otherwise the game is lost: he will take the lead to justify everything. Our ego is frozen in a whole shell of beliefs, emotions, habits: “I am there, I am staying there”. Only this realization – “Why do I keep bothering like this? – can break through this shell of ego. Change is going against oneself, against the current of our achievements, of everything that forms our personality. When we see clearly, we realize that these are only fabrications, illusions. The Buddha had this realization before his Awakening, he stopped his anorexia and resumed food. And that's how he was able to achieve enlightenment.
It is the same for us: allow the Buddha who is in us to become aware, to free us from our habits and give us a new impetus towards Awakening.